March 1 return to work

This March, a lot of us has been called back to physically report to work. Despite the slow rollout of vaccine and the continuous threat of being infected by Covid-19 virus, the government has started encouraging the return to usual mode of work because our economy has suffered a lot. It is as if, economy is a vital, living, precious being that outweighs the value of human lives. 

For more than nine months, I have struggled adjusting to the online mode of office and administrative work, heavily depending on my own effort to look for ways to get a stable internet connection in a very rural and agricultural area where I was stocked since the first lockdown. I was tagged as a locally stranded individual (LSI) in a barangay in Laguna, away from my friends and workmates, displaced from my home in Quezon City. 

Like any responsible employee, I developed a system to ensure that the company where I am employed is able to still get the deliverables it expects of me. My mental wellbeing suffered as well as my physical health. Being restricted of any movements outside my residence, I stay in my work space from 7AM to almost 12 midnight. Workload has tripled as everyone is trying to migrate to distant mode of transaction. 

I have a better grasp of my work by February 2021 only to find out that I need to go back to the old way of work starting March. I have wished for so long for the day that I will go back to the pre-pandemic working system. But now that this wish was granted, I am surprised that I am very hesitant and doubtful if I can survive another wave of adjustments. 

I have been regularly seeing my doctor and the meds given to me has helped me rest my mind and not overthink and worry. And I don't want to go to another downward spiral because of another abrupt adjustment. 

Oh Lord. Have mercy. 

Toots

Hindi pa rin kita nadalaw, parekoi. Pinagbawal ng gobyerno bumisita ng sementeryo. Pero noong November 1, sayo ko inalay ang mahabahabang padyak ko noon. Inisip ko yung mga overnight natin noong high school, mga early morning jog at ligo sa aplaya. Nabalitaan ko na nagbibiskileta ka na rin kaya palagay ko appropriate na bigay pugay ko sayo ang pagbisikleta ko noong November 1.

Bigla din ang pagkawala mo. Parang lindol na yumanig sa amin ang balita. Guho lahat ng plano nating reunion sa Disyembre pre. Hindi mo kasi pinasabi kahit kanino na may sakit ka. Asawa mo lang kasama mo sa ilang beses mong sugod sa opsital. Nalaman na lang namin na nag-comatose ka na. Parekoi, mabilis kami rumesponde. At nagbigay ng kaya naming tulong at suporta sa asawa at mga anak mo. Kaya lang hanggang doon lang ang kaya namin dahil bawal pa magbyahe. 

Sa pagbagsak ng masamang balita, nalaman ko na dalawang araw lang ang binigay na pahintulot para sa  lamay. Di pa rin ako makapunta dahil sa lockdown. Damnit! Kahit ang pagluluksa ko, ninakaw ng pandemya. Hindi pa ako nakakapagpaalam sayo. 

Sana hindi ka nagtatampo. Tali ang kamay ko dahil sa covid. Dalaw ka minsan sa panaginip ko. Pero easy-han mo lang ha. Wag horror. Kwentuhan lang. Saka tsismisan ng buhay ng mga gusto at di natin gusto na tao. Saka bisikleta din tayo. Habilinan moko sa mga anak mo. Tapos ako naman, may mga ipapatanong ako sayong mga tanong sa Diyos. Baka lang pwede pabulong sa kanya. 

Para sa kaibigang kong desaparecidos,

Patuloy akong aasa na buhay ka
Aasa na magkakaroon ka ng pagkakataon

Na makaranas 

Na magmahal at mahalin.

Habang nasa ampiteatro at nakikinig ng mga litanya ng grumadweyt

Kung ako kanina ang nagbigay ng valedictory address, eto ang sinabi ko:

Patayin ang 'Pilipinas'

MAY tatlong pangalan ang ating bansa: “Filipinas,” “Philippines,” “Pilipinas”: lbinasbas sa atin ang una ng kolonyalismong Espanyol at siya nating opisyal na pangalan sa loob  ng tatlong  siglo.  ltinatawag naman sa atin ang ikalawa ng imperyalismong Amerikano at opisyal nating pangalan ngayon sa Ingles.  Bersiyong Tagalog ng una ang ikatlo at batay sa orihinal na titik ng lumang abakada.

Palagay ko, sintomas ng ating pambansang pagkalito ang pagkakaroon ng tatlong  pangalan ng ating bansa. Hindi  tayo magkaisa kahit sa pagtawag himang sa ating sarili.Ang  panukala ko, panahon na para magkaroon tayo ng opisyal na pangalan para  sa ating bansa’t republika, at tulad ng inumpisahan ng Diyaryong  Filipino, dapat tayong kilalanin sa buong mundo bllang “Filipinas.”

Unang dapat burahin ang “Philippines”. Tatak ito ng patuloy na pag­ iral sa ating utak ng pananakop ng Amerikano. Hindi nila ito nagawa sa Puerto  Rico, Cuba, Mexico, Chile, at ibang dating kolonya ng Espanya. Bukod pa, may mga bansang nakapagpipilit ng kanilang sariling pangalan sa UNO sa kabila ng lningles na tawag sa kanila.

Ngayon, bakit hindi “Pilipinas”?

Nagtatrabaho kahit walang pasok

Bawal ako tumigil sa bahay. Kapag nandun ako, nahihiga lang ako, nakakatulog at babangon lang kapag nagugutom.Kung magiging ganito ang buhay ko sa mga susunod na araw, hindi na magkakasya ang mga slim fit na collared shirts na binili ko.Binili ko nga pala ang mga shirts dahil dalawang senior faculty na ang pumansin ng pagdadamit ko. Wala sana akong pakialam kaya lang hindi ko pwede dalhin sa trabaho ko sa unibersidad ang kultura ko nung nasa development work pa ako.

Wasted on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head

So you have been working your ass off for the job you think will benefit your country. But your country does not give a damn about what you are going through because really, everyone is busy minding their own petty problems.

Social awareness will only bring you to a point of poverty. And Maslow will laugh out loud because he will prove himself right again that idealism will not fill in your hungry stomach.

Funny that you struggle for  reform that only you believe in.

Fishery geeks storm Oyster Bay

B3 at ang pinakagwapong Palaboy

One thing that prolly made connection between me and B3 is that we had common grounds on formal fishery education. He finished his bachelors degree in Fisheries while I went to a fishery school when I was in high school.

I remember we had a handful talk about jigger (used to catch pusit), pante (a local fishnet) and our share of opinions on the strengths and loopholes of RA 8550. B1, who was just a friend to B3 that time would roll her eyes hearing our enthusiasm on brackish water fish discussion.

We are the fishery geeks.

So when I went to Cebu last week, B3 brought me to Oyster Bay Seafood Restaurant, not because of good food but because of live sharks! Not one but three, swimming on the side of the restaurant "front yard". Imagine my big grin seeing the sharks! Here's a picture from a blog site promoting Cebu City.

Usapang class requirement

Maganda ang title ng libro kaya lang masyadong western ang konteksto.

Sa kursong tinuturo ko sa kolehiyo, nangangarap ako na may isa o dalawang estudyante na susunod sa yapak ko sa pagbibigay ng social service sa mga pamilyang Pilipino.

Dahil dito, ang isa sa mga una kong ginawa bago magsimula ang pasukan ay isama sa syllabus ng klase ko ang paggawa ng family case study.

Na hindi madali gawin. At hindi tinuro kahit sa disiplina ko.

Pero nung nagmasteral na ako, nakita ko sa organisadong pagkilos ang importansiya ng case study para magawa ng malalim na pag-analisa sa sitwasyon ng pamilya (base sa kanilang perspektibo) at nang ganun ay makagawa ng karampatan na pagtugon sa kung ano mang sitwasyon nila.

Kahapon simula ala una hanggang alas kwatro ng umaga, gumawa ako ng maayos na pamantayan para sa paggawa ng simpleng family case study. Hindi gaano ka-clinical ang dating dahil hindi pa handa ang klase sa ganoong output. Pero kakikitaan ng paggamit ng mga teorya na natalakay sa klase.

Pinasimple ang pamantayan kaya medyo natagalan ako at nahirapan ng konti. Pero excited ako kung paano nila gagawin.

Pasintabi kay Kgg. Manny Pacquiao

Jinky: Manny, pagmagkaka-anak uli tayo,
ano magandang name?
Manny: e di, combine na lang natin.. 'manky'.
Aling Dionesia: aba, kailangan kasali din pangalan ko!
Manny:talaga Nay?anu?
Aling Dionesia: Diomanji!

Larawan mula dito.

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Masyado lang malungkot ang nangyari sa kalakhang Maynila ngayon. Wala pang bagyo pero dahil sa patuloy na pagbuhos ng ulan, lubog ang maraming parte ng sentro ng Pinas.

Weather alert!

If Gener can do much flooding, how about this one? Just be ready and pray na di tumama sa atin.

I support the anti-epal campaign

Hindi ito hate blog. Public service muna.

Government officials (elected and non-elected), also known as PUBLIC SERVANTS, should not be allowed to use public money to display their name or image in public places in furtherance of their careers. This page  (yung iki-click, hindi ang blog nato. hehe) is a venue for the public to share photos of this (mal)practice, that will eventually lead to the public shaming of officials to the end that this practice will stop.

When posting pictures, please indicate date and place.

It's time we the people reclaimed our cities back from the clutches of abusive public servants.

Join Anti-Epal campaign. Organize one in your area. Like us on facebook. Click here.

Nabasag ang bintana sa kwarto ko

Iba syempre ang ligalig ng panahon ngayon. Biglang bubuhos ang ulan hanggang mabasa ka tapos kapag alam na niyang nabasa na niya ang mga tao at nakapagbunga na siya ng traffic sa EDSA, Quezon City Circle at sa Anonas, titigil na siya. Mang-aasar lang. Parang yung mga backread post na nabasa ko kay Coldman. Kung makapang-asar lang, wagas. Si Coldman (yung mga posts niya dati) at ang panahon ngayon ay pareho lang na ganyan.

Napapost ako tungkol sa panahon kasi habang ako ay nakikipagharutan kanina sa chat, biglang nahulog ang salamin ng bintana ng kwarto ko. At dahil malakas ang ulan, pumapasok ang tubig. Naudlot tuloy ang harutan sa chat. Ganun. Lungkot. Haha. Joke lang.

Dahil nasa second floor ang kwarto ko, buti walang naglalakad sa baba. Kung nagkataon sa kanya bumagsak ang salamin, at magkakalamat ang kanyang bumbunan. Nakakatakot pa naman ang madaming dugo. *Graphic images flowing*

So ayan, ang ginawa kong first aid sa bintana ay paglalagay ng plastic na makapal. Sywempre temporary lang. Pano na lang pag bagyo na talaga at malakas ang hangin? Di na yan pwede. Peste. Ay sorry. Nabigla lang. Hassle lang kasi. Malapit pa naman ang butas na bintana sa kama ko. So baka mamayang gabi water bed na ang tinutulugan ko.

Hindi ko alam kung pano ko sasabihin sa landlord ko. Kasi walang kontrata sa dalawang taon ko na pagtira dito. Di alam kung kelan na siya ang magpapagawa at kelan ako. Malabo lang, parang mata kong (Oo, misfit ang pangungusap nato. Wala lang).

Hassle lang talaga ang ulan. Pero syempre dapat good vibes pa rin. Pogi at magaganda tayong lahat. Yihi! Kahit maulan, dapat ngiti pa rin. Ingat kayo lahat!

On securing birth certificate

This is part of the adventure of getting new work. I have to secure my original copy of birth certificate from National Statistics Office. Not just one but three. I will be working in a government institution yet they ask three copies of original certificate from another government institution. (I guess they do not trust their own system that's why three original copies are required. HA! Well it's not funny, really.)

My friends from the city hall advised me to come to NSO QC by one in the afternoon since less people would like to do transactions during hellish temperature. They were right. There were around a little less than two hundred people as opposed to the one I saw one time in the morning which maybe around a thousand.

A university guy's thought after being mesmerized with this beauty of Bataan

It will be a lost if life is meaningless. And the world is nothing but a random product of big bang. We exist and we die. A life reduced to the start of one point and ended at the same point. It's not even a line. Big bang makes geometry rotten tomato.

It will be a very sad world when beauty is reduced to theories of preferences influenced by ruling class.
I agree that life can be seen as a struggle. But explain life solely as a struggle between bourgeois and proletariat, is bland, colorless, odorless soup. Water is then more exciting, than that.

This world in precision and chaos, of meaning and poetry, of sunny side ups and pan cakes is fullness in itself. And wouldn't it be a wonder that there is mystery and meaning and unexplainable search in it. That even the dullness of life is considered divine and complicated.


All these life and the search for it is innate. A vacuum longing to be filled.

Borrowing his thought two days after ze climb

The pleasure of risk is in the control needed to ride it with assurance so that what appears dangerous to the outsider is, to the participant, simply a matter of intelligence, skill, intuition, coordination- in a word, experience. Climbing in particular, is a parodoxically intellectual pastime, but with this difference: you have to think with your body. Every move has to be worked out in terms of playing chess with you body. If I make a mistake the consequences are immediate, obvious, embarrassing, and possibly painful. For a brief period I am directly responsible for my actions. In that beautiful, silent, world of mountains, it seems to me worth a little risk. A.Alvarez

That total of ten hours hiking

I keep on saying this mantra: It does not matter how slow you go, as long as you don't stop. I think it was from Confucius. Yes another brilliant Chinese that I keep quoting whenever I feel threatened. Hahaha
The sun is up. Compared to the night before that was raining hard and long, the day I went crazy is a sun-filled day. Thank you God!

I saw myself eating my own words when I found myself hiking in Bataan. Five hours of walking, balansingm grabbing roots during uphill and downhill, avoiding sharp wild grass Just to see the waterfalls promised by my ex-boss in an NGO that works with children in conflict with the law.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said

I like the silent church before the service begins, better than any preaching."


Most of the time, when I try to ponder about life and problem, I go to quiet places. And most of the time, I find solitude best in churches, without mass or services.

Pandesal

Old-time Filipino favourite breakfast.
Served with scrambled egg, cocojam, peanut butter,
Cheese, or salted butter.

Crusty exterior
Warm, moist and chewy interior.

Best with either plain black kapeng barako
Or tsokolateng mainit at malangis.

Happy prompt: Sharing a paper bag full of pandesal with officemates to begin that long and tough day ahead.

Natural isotonic drink from Mt. Makiling

After more than an hour of walking to Mt. Makiling, I had a good refreshing short rest while sipping buko (coconut) juice.

The manang vendor told me, "I got curious myself why students go to the top of Mt. Makiling. So I decided to hike, together with my my amigas of course." Amigas refer to other buko vendors.