Agos ng buhay

This is the visual representations of the lives the children in conflict with the law I'm helping out. The activity is called River of Life.

What they do is draw a river which represents their own time line. They will be giving unique characteristics of the river at different stages of their lives.

This technique in drawing allows me to initially see how children perceive their lives. Mapping of several significant life events (separation of parents, death of a love one, dropping out of school, a sister getting married, getting honors in school) can be distinctly identified.

Pag-ibig at papel sa masteral

Ito ay para lang sabihin na kahit sinabi ko sa facebook status ko kanina na susubukan ko matulog ngayon at magsusulat na lamang bukas ng madaling araw, hindi yun ang ginawa ko. Sa katunayan, gising na gising ako ngayon at hindi makatulog. Hindi rin ako makapagsulat.

Dito ko napagtanto na ang required paper na hindi pa nagagawa ay parang pag-ibig ng isang nagbibinata, hindi ka bibigyan ng katahimikan, hindi ka bibigyan ng kapahingahan.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said

I like the silent church before the service begins, better than any preaching."


Most of the time, when I try to ponder about life and problem, I go to quiet places. And most of the time, I find solitude best in churches, without mass or services.

Quarter life crisis

I am a hasty man. I don't wait to turn 50 so I can have my mid-life crisis. At 25, I had my quarter life crisis. A fore-taste of the mid-life philosophical/ spiritual questioning.

Erik H. Erikson, who proposed eight crises that humans face during their development, proposed the existence of a life crisis occurring at this age. The conflict he associated with young adulthood is the Intimacy vs. Isolation crisis. According to him, after establishing a personal identity in adolescence, young adults seek to form intense, usually romantic relationships with other people. Well, in my case, I felt like I don't have a full grasp of who I am. It's like a juvenile hangover. Same with the alcohol hangover, but more like a who-am-I-please-answer-soon-because-my-age-tells-me-I-am too-old-to-ask-this-question.

Waiting for my momentum

Here in Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf in Technohub, Quezon City drinking my Moroccan mint tea latte. Waiting for my momentum to build up. I will be meeting my faculty supervisor in my fieldwork for this semester to present to him the model that I have come up with in terms of working with children in conflict with the law.

Generally, I have a good idea of what I still need to do. The problem is, I don't want to do it now. Batugan mode. Why does it has to be difficult to gain diligence when in it comes to writing? If writing is something related to spiritual realm, I sure I'm a dune with no sand. Isn't it sad, sad, sad?

French wine and books to take home

I just met with my former co-workers in an NGO where I used to work. Former employees got THE reunion. We had some good vegetarian taco meal and french red wine.

I'm quite tipsy right now as I write this. I think I drunk more than half the bottle. Or was that an entire bottle?

This happened in a newly built wood and rock inspired house. Interior design is quite modern but maintains the homie atmosphere. Anyway, aside from the awesome home our host had, he allowed me to check out his library where I saw the hard to find books on social work. Our good host, who happened to be one of the mentors I had in working with children in conflict with the law, allowed me to borrow ze books for a week. Yey! Time enough to finish my papers. Thank you Divine Providence!

Now learning how to react

when there's road change in progress.


(Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying,
pray. Let petitions and praises shape
your worries into prayers, letting God know
your concerns. Before you know it, a sense
of God's wholeness, everything coming together for
good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful
what happens when Christ displaces worry
at the center of your life.)

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Regarding the picture: I miss meeting these guys for discipleship group. It has been three months since I last meet them for bible studies and what not. It was fun learning from them about life and pursuing the deeper intimacy with Christ.

Earning that one way trip ticket to heaven?

I saw a letter of one of the youth in detention center for her mum. It read, "I am sorry for all the problems I have caused you. I am sorry that I might not go to heaven because I cannot go to church together with you all. The longer I stay, the bigger the chance that I will go to hell."

That happened three days ago. And it bothers me. REALLY. I cannot handle the fact that a person who has been detained, who has been pulled out from his usual daily living, is now concerned about where he will go after his life on earth. (I have a theory that people are opened to spiritual realm when they are incarcerated. But that's another topic.) It is bothering to know that because one cannot go to a building where there is corporate gathering of people of the same faith, that might cost him his eternal destination.

Sound mind principle

Three questions to ask yourself to apply your purpose to any decision.
1. Does this show my love for God?
2. Does this show my love for others?
3. Does this show my love for myself?

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On photo: When you are stocked in Freud's oral stage, you don't ask those questions. You just put stuff in your mouth. Principle: "Everything is edible."

Prayer when the semester is about to end

AMA, it just seems that some days we desperately long an extra measure of your presence. We need to be reminded that You love us. Life can be hard. Sometimes it's hard because of some foolishness on our part. Sometimes because of someone else's words or actions. Like naughty children who need to be reminded of their parents love and forgiveness, we come to You. We breathe in Your promises clinging to the hope they give us. Your Word is life and hope. Amazing you are, amazing you are. Amen.

The end is near

“Woman with Dead Child” (1903) by Kathe Kollwitz depicts one of the saddest events in the human experience—a mother saying goodbye to her deceased child. The etching is one of the many examples of Kollwitz’s pieces that address unfortunate situations such as poverty and early loss. Interestingly enough, Kollwitz used her own living son as the model for the young boy. Coincidently, Kollwitz would experience the actual loss of her son fifteen years later in World War I (NYU Literature, Arts, and Medicine Database

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Here's something personal. I don't look at people's eyes when they wave goodbye.

A movie on "adopt or die"

A story should have
a beginning, a middle, and
an end... but not necessarily in that order.

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Hanna (Saoirse Ronan) is a 16-year-old girl who lives with her father, Erik Heller (Eric Bana) in the wilderness of Finland. Since age two, Hanna has been trained by Erik to become a skilled assassin. Due to her training away from civilization, she has never come into contact with modern technology or culture, and has memorized a series of fake back-stories for herself to be used "when the time comes", as well as a great deal of encyclopedic knowledge. She is also fluent in several languages.

Got a chaotic life and you need therapy? Director Joe Wright is a good therapist. Watch the film.

By the way, does anyone know if this is adopted from a book?

Farewell schoolyear, farewell soccer guy

Today's the last day I will have my tutorial session with Soccer Guy. He's the nine year old boy I'm helping out in his Language and Reading subjects in grade school. Yesterday, I asked him if he still needs my help next school year. He said, "Maybe not anymore. By that time, I'm older na Kuya Lester." I am so relieved that he has not become dependent on me. The past month, I've been modifying his study attitude and habits. Smart kid with a nice attitude, he is easy to handle for behavior modification.

Well, the sad thing there (on my part) is that because I have developed in him a self-propelling student, we don't have to meet anymore for extra outside school study hours. He can do it on his own. Hence, no more work for me. But what the heck. Helping is way better than profiteering. I know I will regret what I just said. Imma shut my mouth before I add future contradictions.

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Happy prompt:
This Chinese proverbs makes me a proud of our ancient wisdom.
I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

Rhythm and sounds are born with syllables

My friends find it funny and weird that my fun time definition includes combination of hanging out in detention center and attending tap dance class in the University.

I'm really glad that I have maintained a good relationship with my 64-year old tap dance instructor three years ago. And until now, she let's me join her class. Not only that, she gives me advance lessons for free. How cool is that?

What I like about tap dance is that it's a precise dance since specific sound and rhythm (or sound accent) is required when I dance. Yes, I dance and create percussion music at the same time.

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Happy prompt: Remember Mitch Hedberg saying, "I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy."

Group work in the detention center

I was very nervous and hesitant to handle some children in conflict with the law for a group work. Nervous since I will not have the full control of who will join the group since it will be an open invitation to all youth in the detention center. Hesistant since I know that my knowledge and experience as a clinical social work practitioner will be challenged.

Now that the group is on it's third month and about to end, I have mixed emotions. I'd like to extend my time in the detention center and in effect extend the group work sessions. I have been looking forward to meetings as much as they do. It was only during these times that I don't have to exert outside force for the group work members to participate. They're initiating things on their own now. They are even taking charge on giving direction for the group itself. And I know that it is one of the signs that group work has already achieved its purpose. And that the external help coming from group work is coming its maturity to be terminated.

Pagtitimbang ng rason

Hindi madali na itama ang pagkakamali lalo na kung ang kinahinatnan nito ay pagkawala ng kaibigan at mahal sa buhay. Na kahit ano pang gusto mong gawin na ibalik ang oras na gumawa ka ng desisyon ay hindi mo na ito kaya pang balikan. At kahit ano pang pagsisisi mo, nagawa na ito. At walang correction fluid na bubura sa mga nasulat na sa buhay mo.

Hindi pagsisi ang solusyon upang magbabago ng nakaraan. Kahit ano pa ang gawin mo upang ipakita sa mga tao na hindi ka natuwa sa ginawa mo ay patuloy pa rin nila iisipin ang maling desisyon. Maging ang pangalan mo na iningatan ay palagian nang may mantsa.

Remember your grade school fieldtrips?

Happy prompt: Go on a fieldtrip
like grade school kids.
Put on the specs of wonders
and innocence
and enjoy wherever you are going.
Sing songs along the way.
Eat food from street carts and stalls.
Smile as often as possible.
And say thank you to strangers
who show kindness.