March 1 return to work

This March, a lot of us has been called back to physically report to work. Despite the slow rollout of vaccine and the continuous threat of being infected by Covid-19 virus, the government has started encouraging the return to usual mode of work because our economy has suffered a lot. It is as if, economy is a vital, living, precious being that outweighs the value of human lives. 

For more than nine months, I have struggled adjusting to the online mode of office and administrative work, heavily depending on my own effort to look for ways to get a stable internet connection in a very rural and agricultural area where I was stocked since the first lockdown. I was tagged as a locally stranded individual (LSI) in a barangay in Laguna, away from my friends and workmates, displaced from my home in Quezon City. 

Like any responsible employee, I developed a system to ensure that the company where I am employed is able to still get the deliverables it expects of me. My mental wellbeing suffered as well as my physical health. Being restricted of any movements outside my residence, I stay in my work space from 7AM to almost 12 midnight. Workload has tripled as everyone is trying to migrate to distant mode of transaction. 

I have a better grasp of my work by February 2021 only to find out that I need to go back to the old way of work starting March. I have wished for so long for the day that I will go back to the pre-pandemic working system. But now that this wish was granted, I am surprised that I am very hesitant and doubtful if I can survive another wave of adjustments. 

I have been regularly seeing my doctor and the meds given to me has helped me rest my mind and not overthink and worry. And I don't want to go to another downward spiral because of another abrupt adjustment. 

Oh Lord. Have mercy. 

Musings on public health while on self isolation

I have been telling my friends that in the Philippines, we are always one sickness away from poverty. Despite deliberately saving for emergency needs, and consciously taking good care of our body, when sickness strikes, cash flies in an instant. That is, if you are a working middle class. And there is cash to fly out. 

But if you are poor, you depend on the health and welfare program of the State. You can't avail the best possible care. You can only get what can are given by the brilliant, caring but overworked public health workers. 

Dorm 10 (Sarah's)

Matapos ang limang bote ng pale pilsen at isang tuna sisig sa Sarah's, dumating ka. Tinanong mo kung kanina pa ako. Sabi ko, hindi naman.

Ngayon ko lang napansin na sunog na sunog na 'yung balat mo. Hindi na makita ang senyales ng mestiso mong genes na pamana ng tatay ng lolo mong may malawak na lupain sa Pangasinan. 

Buti naghintay ka, sabi mo. 

Buti nakarating ka, sabi ko. 

Nalaman kong namundok ka. Napansin ko na pinatanda ka na nang karanasan at ng bagong buhay mo. Biniro pa kita na sayang ang Likas Papaya soap na gamit mo noon. Tumawa ka lang at sinagawan ako ng Gago!

Umorder ako ng redhorse, tig-isa tayo. Naubos mo kagad sa loob ng dalawang minuto. Kinuhanan ulit kita. Alam kong namiss mo. Hindi kita inistorbo sa pakikipagtalik mo sa ikalawang serbesa. Kita ang pananabik at uhaw mo.

Cancer camp 2014

Sila ang dahilan kung bakit isang linggo akong abala at di nakakausap at nahahalagilap. Tumulong ako sa pag-aayos ng summer cancer camp ng mga bagets. Ilang araw akong nasa bundok na walang cellphone signal. Mahusay na rin yun dahil mahaba at buo ang atensyon na binigay ko para sa mga patient at survivors ng cancer. 

Dear blog,

I miss you.
So much.

Overthinker Palaboy

Timog, babalikan kita sa taong ito.

Mahalaga sa akin ang tsinelas na yan. Binili ko sa isang baryo sa isang liblib na lugar sa may gawing timog ng Pilipinas.

Yang tsinelas na yan ang saksi sa pakikipamuhay ko sa mga tao dun. Pati na rin ang pagdiskubre na mali ang hinala ng mga taga-Luzon na magulo sa parteng yaon ng Pinas. Hindi lahat ng tao sa lugar na pinuntahan ko ay palaaway. Hindi lahat ng mga tao dun ay galit sa mga Kristyano.

Mala-Freire na karanasan sa pagtuturo

Iba talaga yung ligaya kapag kita sa mga bagets na may AHA! moment sila.

Kanina sa klase sa Pagkamamamayan, sinimulan ko ang diskusyon sa pamamagitan ng pagpapasagot sa kanila ng ano ang gusto nila at ayaw nila mangyari sa kasalukuyan, sa susunod na limang taon, sa sampung taon, labing limang taon na lilipas, at matapos ang limampung taon.Ganundin kung ano ang hindi nila gustong mangyari sa timeframe na nabanggit.

Dahil karamihan sa bagets ko ay hindi morning person, medyo mabagal sila magwarm up. Paper and pencil activity muna. Sakto lang kasi medyo labinglimang minuto nila sinagot ang worksheet na binigay ko. Matapos noon, pinapunta ko sila na grupo nila para ibahagi sa iba yung mga sagot nila. Tatlumpu't anim ang bilang ng mga bagets at nahahati sa anim na grupo. Sakto lang para maging intimate sila at maging bukas sa pagbabahagi.

Diyan na nagsimula mag-ingay ang mga bagets. Mukhang maligaya silang magsalaysay ng mga pangarap nila sa buhay. Ang gaganda nga e. Napakasariwa ng idealismo nila. Hindi katulad ng mga kasama ko na nagtatrabaho na na nakalimutan nang mangarap.

Usapang class requirement

Maganda ang title ng libro kaya lang masyadong western ang konteksto.

Sa kursong tinuturo ko sa kolehiyo, nangangarap ako na may isa o dalawang estudyante na susunod sa yapak ko sa pagbibigay ng social service sa mga pamilyang Pilipino.

Dahil dito, ang isa sa mga una kong ginawa bago magsimula ang pasukan ay isama sa syllabus ng klase ko ang paggawa ng family case study.

Na hindi madali gawin. At hindi tinuro kahit sa disiplina ko.

Pero nung nagmasteral na ako, nakita ko sa organisadong pagkilos ang importansiya ng case study para magawa ng malalim na pag-analisa sa sitwasyon ng pamilya (base sa kanilang perspektibo) at nang ganun ay makagawa ng karampatan na pagtugon sa kung ano mang sitwasyon nila.

Kahapon simula ala una hanggang alas kwatro ng umaga, gumawa ako ng maayos na pamantayan para sa paggawa ng simpleng family case study. Hindi gaano ka-clinical ang dating dahil hindi pa handa ang klase sa ganoong output. Pero kakikitaan ng paggamit ng mga teorya na natalakay sa klase.

Pinasimple ang pamantayan kaya medyo natagalan ako at nahirapan ng konti. Pero excited ako kung paano nila gagawin.

Pasintabi kay Kgg. Manny Pacquiao

Jinky: Manny, pagmagkaka-anak uli tayo,
ano magandang name?
Manny: e di, combine na lang natin.. 'manky'.
Aling Dionesia: aba, kailangan kasali din pangalan ko!
Manny:talaga Nay?anu?
Aling Dionesia: Diomanji!

Larawan mula dito.

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Masyado lang malungkot ang nangyari sa kalakhang Maynila ngayon. Wala pang bagyo pero dahil sa patuloy na pagbuhos ng ulan, lubog ang maraming parte ng sentro ng Pinas.

Weather alert!

If Gener can do much flooding, how about this one? Just be ready and pray na di tumama sa atin.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said

I like the silent church before the service begins, better than any preaching."


Most of the time, when I try to ponder about life and problem, I go to quiet places. And most of the time, I find solitude best in churches, without mass or services.

Prayer when the semester is about to end

AMA, it just seems that some days we desperately long an extra measure of your presence. We need to be reminded that You love us. Life can be hard. Sometimes it's hard because of some foolishness on our part. Sometimes because of someone else's words or actions. Like naughty children who need to be reminded of their parents love and forgiveness, we come to You. We breathe in Your promises clinging to the hope they give us. Your Word is life and hope. Amazing you are, amazing you are. Amen.

Please give me three wounds

“O God,
please give me three wounds:
the wound of contrition
and the wound of compassion
and the wound of longing after God.
This I ask without condition.”

Lady Julian of Norwich.

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Picture taken in Caleruega, Nasugbu, Batangas, a famous place for wedding ceremonies.

Prayer

Prayer is a meeting place.
A meeting
to behold
and
be held
by Jesus.

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Heard this from a friend.

If Christianity is a relationship and prayer is talking to a Person you have a relationship with, this definition is by all means suitable.

Prayer of a worker inside a youth detention center

At the back of this Hall of Justice is the detention center where I am currently doing my fieldwork. It just dawned to me that I have been spending tremendous time there for more than two months now. And the weird thing is that I feel a bit sad to leave the detention center after office hours. Haha. This fixation in working with children in conflict with the law which was a passion is becoming an addiction. (Just kidding!)

Let me share with you my prayer one time regarding the youth that I am helping inside the detention center.

How I have come to love these people God! Sometimes I see myself that I care for them with an extraordinary love that is far beyond myself. You showed them to me. You showed me who they really are, to see them as You do. And whenever I see them your way, your love always overwhelms me and pours out towards them. To open my eyes, You first love me. And as I feel your Spirit loving me, I can't help wanting whatever makes them more to like You. I love them but my love wouldn't be enough. They need and deserve much more. With all my love and strength, I pray that You give me your love for these youth. Love them through me.

A Celtic prayer

I have received an SMS from a colleague. It's a Celtic prayer she said. And probably it's a prayer that's way older than I am. It has been a guide prayer for me, which I occasionally utter from time to time with all my heart. It says:

Lord, bring new life where we are worn and tired.
New love where we have turned hard- hearted.
Forgiveness where we feel hurt and where we have wounded.
And the joy and freedom of Your Holy Spirit where we are prisoners of ourselves.
To all and each, where regret is real, God pronounces pardon
and grant us the right to begin again.
Thanks be to God.